• Tuskaloosa

Who learned you to drive?

Have you driven in Tuscaloosa or Northport lately? How many times did you want to grab another drive by the neck and shake the crazy out of them?

You can not drive a quarter of a mile in this area without seeing some dumb ass behind the wheel. You can't blame the young people and you can't blame the old. It is like 90% of the drives put their brains in the trunk!

Issue 1 - Tighten up

The latest thing I have seen and I don't understand why they are doing it, is stopping two car lengths back behind another car! What is the problem with these idiots? Are they allergic to the other cars bumper, nope - they were right on it when they are driving. Maybe their car will suddenly try to hump the one in front of it. Do these people not realize how they are making the line behind them even longer? Just imagine how many cars could fit in a turn lane if everyone tightened up the line. Maybe the turn lane traffic would not backup into the regular traffic lane.

I don't think they realize that there are sensors under the pavement that detects them and adjust the traffic signals. Hang up the phone and pull up people!

Issue 2 - Wait in line

Why on this earth do you think you are special and don't need to wait in line like the rest of us? You saw the lane closed sign. You did not see a sign saying "go to the front of the line and cut in before everyone else". The only thing you are doing is showing everyone else in line just how stupid you really are. Your self given privileged is showing and it ain't pretty. Don't even think I am going to let you cut in front of me, oh hell no! Get the behind me.

Issue 3 - Speed

Yep, I know it is Sunday morning, but you don't need to drive 35 mph in a 55 mph zone to look at the pretty flowers. Get your butt to church and get off the road. If you keep driving like that you might just meet your maker sooner than you expected. Just because you don't have to be anywhere soon, doesn't mean the line behind you doesn't.

Issue 4 - Bikes

Share the road? You got to be kidding. When they ask us to share the road, then there needs to be some consideration. Bike riders should obey the traffic signals just like everyone else on the road. There may not be anything coming, but the light is red. Stay put until it changes to green

Why do you pick the road with the most hills and curves to ride on? You are not riding to do anything but irritate the drivers on the road. It is hard to see you around the curve or over the hill and then you blame us when we lay down on the horn. Use some common sense. There are a lot of wide and more accommodating roads around here.

And answer this pondering. Why, oh why would you wear the tightest pants you can find to wear on a bike? Everyone that follows you has to look at your ass in those tights. Is there a reason you want to ride down a country road bent over a bike with you ass in tights like that? Really people, that is just disgusting. And some of you even have the nerve to put a flashing light on the bike seat! What are you trying to advertise?

Issue 5 - Distraction

People - hang up the phone and pay attention! You can't put on your headphones and ignore the world around you. That little tin can you are driving in is not a protective cocoon. You need to hang up the phone, turn off the audio book and pay attention! When the light turns amber, try to stop, don't speed up. When the light turns red - STOP! Of course they have screwed the the sequence of the light, we can't do anything but deal with that, but please pay attention to the world around you. The emergency vehicles require you to get the hell out of the way, don't sit there and go "duuu, what do I do?".

Issue 6 - Backwards

What is the deal with having to back into a parking space? Are you trying to hide your tag from the police or something? Do you honestly think your are cool as you block traffic while you repeatedly try to back into the spot? People you are a pain in the ass of everyone else around you. You are not cute and you are not doing anything but irritating other drivers. Park with your ass out like the majority and get on with your life. You look like a jack ass.

Issue 7 - Back Off

I know that in NASCAR they like to draft, but don't do that on highway 43! You need to be that close while you are sitting at a red light, not driving down the road behind another car. Do you think you are as talented as a race car driver? Look, if I can't see your headlights in my rear mirror, then damn it, you are too close to me - back the hell up. Usually when I see someone that close I know they are from Alabama County 32. It is a well know fact that those people have a tendency to ride your ass. Don't be surprised when you are brake checked! If you are following that close, make sure you have good insurance.